All the Feels

Feelings February as I like to call it (yes I know we are now halfway through March). A time for Valentine’s Day (my favorite color palette) and seasonal depression to REALLY set in.

Living in Pennsylvania means this time of year is cloudy, cold and miserable.

It’s easy to be in your feelings. Feelings for me, mean irresponsible spending. Leading to feelings of guilt, hopelessness, loss of control.

Although I still find myself impulse buying on occasion, it’s not nearly as frequent. I have learned to manage my emotional distress with other coping mechanisms, not with mindless shopping.

For the first time in a long time I am actually feeling more in control of my money. Despite the world burning down around us, the financial stress has eased a bit, and I am making some progress!

I am PROUD to report:

We are now two months (March 15 update: 3!) into the New Year with NOT TAKING MONEY FROM SAVINGS to get through the month.
We filed our taxes and the return is being used for savings AND a family vacation this August :)
I paid off my credit card in full rather than just the statement balance.

I am STILL WORKING ON:

Going a full month without any clothing/shoes/accessories purchases.
Listing more things for sale
Making more things for sale

I know I will feel better when I accomplish some of these goals, but putting them into action is something I am STRUGGLING with.

So I reassessed my feelings. What would I FEEL if I did go a whole month without shopping? What would I FEEL if listed more? or made more? I started noticing a pattern again.

I have a history of starting a lot of projects but not really following them all through. I also have a history of feeling obligated to do things, even if I may not be super into it anymore. Did I WANT to do these things, or was I feeling OBLIGATED to do them?

Hey I’m no history major, but wait, yes I am!

Things tend to repeat themselves. Historical events, behavior patterns, and specifically financial behavior.

My personal financial repeat behavior was:

Spend too much
Feel guilty and return stuff/STOP COLD TURKEY
Gain a little confidence
Feel the need to treat myself for being so good/having money again
START SPENDING AGAIN

I didn’t want this particular history to repeat. So I channelled my feelings into other things: decluttering, cooking with the babies, styling outfits, creating content. It didn’t work perfectly, but it was better than before. I was FEELING better and doing better. Even if it wasn’t perfect.

Take a look at your own spending HISTORY. No literally look. Are there patterns you notice?

Do the same few stores pop up on each statement?
Are there certain times of day or days of the week you spend more?
Are there certain moods or events you are in when you spend?

Take a trip down memory lane. If you can, look up your bank statements or keep a written log of what you spend for three months. Write down some financial patterns you see.

What things in your past financial life would you like to improve?
What are some historical mistakes you would like to avoid?
What are some feelings you think contribute to your spending patterns?
HOW CAN WE DO BETTER?

It’s not easy to address our feelings. It’s certainly difficult to talk about feelings. But just like with our finances, if we don’t address dangerous patterns they will lead to our ruin. Learn from mistakes. Do better.

One way we can do better and feel better about where our money is going is through Boycotts. February 28th was a total economic blackout. I worked that day and let me tell you, it doesn’t stop people from Target and Starbucks, but I’m happy to report I successfully spend ZERO DOLLARS that day.