June for JOYFUL Memories

Just when I thought I was getting back on my feet, my grandma died.

My dear grandma was 91 years old, and some would say “ready” to go years ago. But those of us that are left behind are never ready.

I was hoping to start June with a refreshed outlook, clear financial goals, and a determination to stick to my budget.

Instead, I followed my gut and visited my grandma with Jackson and Mila on Friday the 31st (Jackson actually insisted). I visited her myself one last time on the 2nd to say goodbye. She passed peacefully on the 3rd. I immediately went shopping.

I looked at my spending that day: Target for household items, Wine and Spirits for wine, and the thrift store for comfort (and ties for more belts). It looked familiar. Once again, I was shopping my feelings, and we really couldn’t afford it.

I needed to channel my sadness into something else. So I looked to my grandma.

Instead of spending time shopping, I spent time thinking of all the joy she brought to my life and the things that impact me today: I made a list 🙂

Things I love because of my grandma:

Sewing, knitting, crocheting, quilting
Milk glass (she gave me my first piece)
Baking (banana bread, blueberry muffins and poppyseed rolls specifically)
Hallmark movies
Elastic waist EVERYTHING
Matching sets
Cats (both real and prints)
Baskets
Flowers (both real and prints)
Word Searches
The Original Pancake House
North Park (walks around the lake, picnics, Tomato Pie, mini golf)
The library (it should come as no surprise that my two biggest checked out items were Unicorn related)
Tea and tea parties - she had a tiny set for me, and I have some of her cups now
BLT sandwiches and cottage cheese with pineapple
Asian cuisine - a family tradition was going to Sesame Inn for birthday dinners
Enjoying the early morning quiet
Vanilla candles
Bird watching (blue jays, cardinals, hummingbirds)
Piano music
Gardens (I always remember picking mint leaves in her garden when she had it)
Baked apples, angel food cake and pumpkin pie
Coffee after dinner - not anymore though lol

Writing down memories is therapeutic. It helped to see how many things in my life I love because of my grandma, and how they will continue to remind me of her.

I also noticed two big themes: Sewing and Food.

The beginnings of my first quilt for Monica, all Grandma’s fabric.

I was already baking and cooking her recipes. Maybe I could channel some of the sadness into an alternate activity?…sad SEWING.

Sewing makes me feel close to her and there is nothing like seeing your hard work pay off.

Me (6?) and Kevin (4?) in our homemade Grandma costumes. I was a gorgeous purple unicorn and Kevin was a dalmation. Jackson wore the dalmation costume this past Halloween.

Over the years my grandma made LOTS of clothes for me.

Costumes and matching sets when I was little (I called the sets soft pants, they were elastic waist).
Dresses in high school, including a prom dress
A flying squirrel sack (basically a zippered snuggie with holes for your feet)

First high school dance, a vision in red lol.

Not sure what year or dance this was…but I wanted a tie dyed dress, and Grandma delivered.

Prom junior year of high school. I realized later this was similar to Carrie Bradshaw’s look in S6E20 American Girl in Paris (Part Deux).

She also taught me how to sew things myself. Even when I got impatient and frustrated, she helped me through.

Quilted jacket redesign for Monica’s Christmas present.

Beginnings of Kevin’s quilt - all Grandma’s fabric.

I was so fortunate to sew not one, but FIVE quilts with her.

Melanie’s finished quilt - all Grandma’s fabric.

It broke my heart the day I went to start a new sewing project with her and she couldn’t read the patterns anymore. She did knit and crochet after that, but there were many unfinished projects that were left.

Mom and Jackson bird watching at Grandma’s.

One of the last things that she made was a blanket for Mila.

Kevin and Jackson playing piano at Grandma’s house.

When our loved ones pass, it’s easy to fall into old habits, because grief can push us to seek out comfort in many forms. I knew I needed to find a comfort that didn’t include spending money.

Fortunately, I have PLENTY of sewing material and a machine from, you know it, my grandma <3

So this June I will NOT be spending money on the following:

New clothes
New shoes
New crafting materials

I will:

Sew, sew, sew some more
Create fun outfits and videos
Remember the joy of NOT spending money with my grandma

Me, my dad, Mila and Grandma - Christmas time.

Old picture album with me and Kevin at my Grandma’s house.

Money Wins for June so far:

Sold another TWO BELTS (look at me and my bad self)
FINALLY listed more belts and made a promotional tik tok
FINALLY called internet provider and lowered bill
I’ve made $37.65 in sales (10% would be around $4, but I’m confident I can sell more/I’m going to donate $10 to Souhad’s family

December 2022 - Me, Kevin, Monica and Melanie cooking dinner at Grandma’s house.

Money Goals for June so far:

NO IMPULSE SPENDING
NO SAD SHOPPING (Still trying to complete that dang wardrobe freeze)
Create 3 more sewn pieces

Last picture I got of Grandma with my parents, Jackson and Mila.

So far, channeling my grief and sadness into sewing, creating, baking and reminiscing, has kept me from shopping so much. And of course the boycotting has helped.