Spend, Cry, Repeat.

My repeated bad finance behavior? thrifting things we don’t need.

“Lather, rinse, repeat,” is an advertising phrase from a Benjamin Cheever novel titled The Plagiarist. It is a story of how sales of shampoo were increased by adding the word “repeat” to the instructions.

We may not have been explicitly told to follow these instructions, but many people (myself included), have been overwashing our hair for DECADES.

My happy place. My downfall. Where I repeatedly go unsupervised.

There are plenty of people who do not just do things because they are told, but there are plenty of us (myself included) who have and do.

Although not all of us need to wash our hair multiple times, are there any behaviors that you do repeat because you are told to? Or told not to?

October 1st: “I’m not buying anything I don’t need” *sees this sweater: “well I need it.”

Should I have been there? No. But did I pass up this sweater for $2.99? No.

I repeatedly:

go thrifting “to just look” knowing full well I’ll buy stuff I don’t need
go anywhere alone and buy things we don’t need
sad shop or doom scroll on my phone and buy things we don’t need.

Do you see a pattern here?

One sweater = 4 different looks for game day. Option 1

Option 4. See? Repetition can be financially responsible!

We may be unaware of the routines and habits we follow without even realizing it. Things we have done all our lives are routine and normal to us.

However, the habits we repeat, may not be the same habits of others. And just because you “have done something a certain way all your life,” doesn’t mean others have. Or that it is ok.

We need to be aware of toxic routines and repeated behavior in order to change it. That awareness can take time.

Impulse buy #1: clip in bangs BUT they saved me from cutting real bangs.

Routines and repetition are also powerful factors in our finances. They can be good, or they can be toxic. Everyone will be a little different. Just be aware of YOUR routines and repetion within YOUR finances.

Good routines and repetition in finances:

regular check in to manage spending, saving, investing
setting up automatic saving or investing
setting aside money for little treats (so you don’t OVERDO it)
manually writing (or typing) out daily expenses to get a visual
donating to your favorite organizations

my toxic finance habit? going to the thrift store alone knowing FULL WELL I SHOULD NOT.

But come on, look how cute I am in this sweater?!

Toxic routines and repetition in finances:

NEVER looking at account balances
spending when sad, happy, depressed, anything happens…
putting yourself in situations where you know you will spend
saying yes to things you know you should say no to

I tried to stay away from this jacket, but it met my thrifting rule. If I can’t stop thinking about it, and it’s there when I go back, I must get it. That’s law.

Pictures do not begin to do this coat justice.

This month I worked on changing habits, specifically not buying things I don’t need. I did a money check in. I looked at our accounts daily. I still bought things I didn’t need.

A few things set me off.

It was halloween and I just love me a costume or costume accessory.
We had my grandma’s memorial and the sad shopping was just on another level
Although I have done better, I still visit my favorite thrift store. I just love it there. I cannot be stopped. And when it’s good. It’s the best.

Surprise twist, I wore an outfit I already owned to my grandma’s memorial. Did I buy new outfits for the kids? Yes, yes I did. Because I can’t stop.

It makes me so sad, frustrated and angry with myself for not being able to meet a simple goal. However I also knew I couldn’t just stop cold turkey.

I even did a money tip specifically targeted TO MYSELF!

I have done a better job at switching out some other problem routine behaviors:

Doom scrolling - instead I’ve been clearing out pictures and videos (bonus I clear up storage) I need to start reading again too.
Online shopping - swap with crafting. I haven’t been doing as much online shopping, but admittedly not enough crafting.
In person shopping - swap with LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE. Pick a place in my house to clean or declutter? Lately I’ve been walking because it’s 60 degrees

switching up where I take outfit of the day pictures depending on how long our walk is.

switching up outfit pictures depending on if I go with my mom and the kids to the park

switching up where I take outfit pictures because “switching it up” and being ok with it are part of mom life.

I have heard it takes 90+ days to solidify a habit. Repetition is a big piece of it. We have to repeatedly work on our finances, our marriages, our careers, our relationships with others.

We have to commit to the repetition to solidify the habit. We have to put in the work.

The key with repetion is whether we want to repeat a good or bad habit.

I don’t want to “lather, rinse, repeat” because I have dry curly hair. I don’t want to “spend, cry, repeat” because it stresses me and my finances out.

Figure out what repeated behavior needs to change or start, but use the power of routine and repetion for good.

They also say history repeats itself. As a history major, I can confirm that is true. Partly because people do not seek out or understand the whole history, and partly because they do not learn from the historical mistakes of others.

Seek to repeat the good.

I tried to repeat articles of clothing this month to remind myself I don’t need more.

But did I still buy new accessories? Yes :/

Although my routines and repeated behavior need some work. I am committing this month to repeatedly:

check in with my money so I know what is going on (good and bad).
attempt to swap my toxic money habits with good ones.
continue with the routines I have set up for myself that keep me focused.
remind myself I am enough, I have enough, and gosh darn it, I can’t afford it right now.

I REPEATEDLY wore these boots and mini skirts.

Money Wins:

Met goal of $50 in sales! Actually exceeded it :)
First bundle order of necktie belts. A big thank you to the posher that purchased 3 of my necktie belts. Gotta make some more!
Completed 11 days of halloween costumes I already owned (mostly, lol). Most of them were thrifted items. I did thrift/buy some more accessories for the costumes throughout October.