This is Fine.

Well things continue to feel like a dumpster fire. And to round out November, I (and then our whole family) got sick just in time to ruin Thanksgiving and Matt’s last few days of break.

When I was teaching, there was one meme in particular that my fellow educators and I would look at and laugh, no matter what kind of day we had.

When I was counseling, a fellow counselor and I would also share that meme and laugh.

Now, even when things feel particularly ON FIRE, I still find myself looking at that cartoon dog and thinking, “this is fine.” If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry right?!

But fine can also mean (as we learned from the Italian Job) “freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional” - John Bridger.

Sometimes we say we are fine, and we are not.

When problems pop up with money, it’s not always “fine.” In fact, one financial mishap can cause major and even permanent damage.

It can be tempting to do things out of character, out of desperation, out of fear, and out of shame. And in desperate times, people resort to desperate measures.

So what do we do when it’s NOT FINE?

We had “emergency” savings, but what do you do when the emergencies outpace the income to rebuild the fund?
We had supplemental income, but that goes away at the end of this year and I have yet to find something to replace it.
“Just get a part time job.” Totally! But we have two children, one vehicle, and despite keeping an eye out and applying, nothing has come through yet. Exciting update!

There will always be financial problems that beat down your goals and dreams. It’s not fine to give up on them.

It is FINE to make mistakes.

Mistakes happen, even financial mistakes can be fixed with time, patience, and effort.

If I had a chart I would get 7 stickers!!

It is FINE to figure out what to do when the problem arises, and be ok with what needs to be done. Even if it is uncomfortable.

It is FINE to ask for help.

There are also things that can be done BEFORE asking a family member for help, taking out a loan, or making a rash financial choice out of desperation. I know this too. Or at least I remembered after a good night's sleep.

One of my motivational stickers, and one I would have gotten this month :)

So I decided to approach this the way I would if I WERE COUNSELING ME. Maybe I need to bring the money dress out and remind myself what I already know needs to be done.

It’s easier to give advice to others than take it yourself. But one of my pieces of advice was to be FINE with small money wins.

Everyone is at a different point in their financial journey, and it is FINE to take smaller steps to get to where you want to be.

It’s also FINE to take financial problems one step at a time.

We’re problem solvers around here. So let’s figure it out.

Problem: Loss of Income

Solutions:

Reduce Expenses
Increase Income

shop my financial wellness calendar on Etsy :)

Reduce Expenses: FINE things we did this month

Called bill/utility companies and asked what we could do to reduce. If we could not lower, decided which ones were up for cancellation.
Stopped thrifting/going to store unsupervised/bored shopping on phone.
Discussed which holiday traditions we would skip:

Physical holiday cards - replaced with a digital album to share on multiple social media platforms
Multiple gift givings - no secret santa (at work, with friends, with anyone, Santa is taking a break), gifts for family members other than kids.
New ornaments - trying homemade DIY ones with the kids this year (perfect for an indoor activity and bonding)

Increase Income: FINE things I tried this month

Applied for part time jobs - AND FINALLY GOT ONE
Made things to sell on my Etsy store
Listed things for sale on Poshmark/DePop/Mercari
Took surveys, played games - this was the biggest waste of time for the amount of money :/

MAMA upcycled sweatshirt with baby clothes

Money Wins:

Completed a whole week of no spend days
Channeled anger and frustration into crafting rather than sad shopping
Called several utility/subscription providers to lower/negotiate bills
GOT A PART TIME SEASONAL JOB AT TARGET (I start on December 1st :))

Money Goals:

Continue no spend days - let’s go for 10 days
No random holiday shopping (buying extra gifts, decor, food, etc…)
Rebuild emergency fund - start with $250 for month of December
Create and list 10 more products
$65 in sales ($38 so far!)

When I was counseling I remember talking about going easy on yourself (if only I could take my own advice). So here are a few reminders for all of us.

It’s also FINE to:

Not meet every goal you set - maybe you need to revisit the goal to make sure you still want it?
Break down goals into smaller steps - baby steps! OR
- when asked your savings goal you say: $500 (cut that in half, start smaller with $250 to give yourself a win)
Make tough decisions. Have tough money conversations. “Rub some dirt in it!” - Sebastian Hastings She’s the Man
Give yourself timelines. Cut one subscription for 3 months, then switch to a different one. It doesn’t have to be forever.
Be at peace that things won't always turn out the way you want. Your goals and dreams can shift and change.

Maybe things will continue to be on fire, but as long as you continue to work towards your goals (financial, mental, physical, emotional), you’ll be FINE. Ok, more than fine :)

Money is a tool to help you make the most of the time you have. Use it wisely.

Just a couple babies enjoying their time :)

Outfits I’ve worn and loved:

New Year, Same Me?

Spend, Cry, Repeat.